Hey guys, been long. I'm not really feeling like coming around and being able to communicate through the web,
because 3 months ago shit happened the year before it all started and i regret it majorly i wish i never met the people that i have, even though i have no hate towards them at all, they've gotten me hooked so much i can't think of anything else, so I've been depressed for like since January really, i haven't been hyper since all I've been becoming is being rather giddy and afterwards it doesn't even make me feel better.
So like i said about the shit 3 months ago, i started thinking and doubting lots of odd things and believing what people told me, i kinda did start believing them because of the way this person acted before i made a life wrecking decision, life wrecking? that's what i thought but it all happens to be something i thought completely wrong, i read this piece of writing that pretty much devastated everything, i was getting over it after a whole 3 fucking months i was started to live my life again, and this piece of writing ruined me, i wish i could help so bad, i wish i could talk this lovely person, i wish i can take back everything i ever did wrong, My understanding has pretty much changed i hate the fact that i acted all noob like at the beginning of everything that i was ever involved with. I'm sorry i really am. You have no idea how much I've been thinking about this, how much i want to meet you and how much i wish we could talk again, but what's killing me is why you never told me about it, i could have helped if you asked.
I never happened to mention this but my name is really Brooke, i get pretty freaked out when people know stuff about me, but then i got called other names at school, i was called Mona for like Mona the vampire books and Mona the vampire tv series and after that i guess i got used to being called that, but now i guess i want people to know me for my real name, i only like being called brooke i wouldn't change my name for nothing, i'd find it rather akward being called something else.
My brothers coming back from the army, god i missed him so much, the house felt so dead without him we used to bully each other so much but it was so much fun, i have no-one to quarrel with now because he's grown up and so have i we don't fight we just talk, the best thing was when i used to run into his room screaming i love you jack and run back out before he can throw something at me. My mothers now diabetic but she's still fit in shape which is kinda confusing for me, but i love her so much she lets me sleep in her laps and dad well he's a driver and does fitting he goes around the country and i hardly see him but my mum said he lost his job and he came back home and i heard a conversation that my dad and one of his workmates were having and the whole reason was so stupid one of his bosses was taking his anger out on him and was swearing at him and all my dad said 'don't you ever swear at me.' and then he was fired and his boss gave his job to a polish who wrecked the whole thing, next day when it was time to sort it out another workmate stuck up for my dads boss and my dads boss was like 'well i was only saying it because Nicola said you swore at her.' and my dad couldn't believe it when he hardly even talks to anyone there, so he got his job back on a fair basis but he wasn't being paid fully which was a problem till he complained and now he has his job back and he's being paid full too, but i don't want him to go, he's never around for Christmas or my birthday.
That just worries me about whats gonna happen when i get a job. :/
Also this month we're doing a fundraising day if your around in the east side of Yorkshire, YOU BETTER DONATE, it's going towards the army and people in the US that need help to keep their water running, the heating on and the power and gas on too, the most exciting news is next year in march the baby is due! god you don't know how happy i am for this one i'm no more the youngest and second i get to name it! I'f its a girl then i'm naming her Jocelyn and if it's a boy i wish to name him Chester is that British enough? god no i'd name him Arthur <33 (i'm serious)
Anyway peace bros.
The next time i'll be around to update shit i'll have been sorted out and hopefully be able to live my life properly without the guilt and the pain.